How to keep your man...in line!

OK, so relationships are one of those things that I can't live with, can't live without. Now i'm still young so im not claiming to have any kind of super expert knowledge on relations but what i do know, and have come to know quite well, is how to keep your man in line. Originally I was the bitch from hell that all men were scared of! (lol, at least i think its funny) Then a few of ma gurlies said Cherie, your too hard on the poor sods .... so i eased up.... a bit too much - one muvasucker took the piss!! Which has lead me to the understanding and need for a balance......

So u dn't know me... but let me tell you this ma mouf is loud and if u rub me the wrong way one too many times i'll kick ur ass right into the middle of next week and verbally catsrate you without hesitation. Many may think that using some of these tactics in your relationship may be damaging but it keeps your man in line. Let me explain the rationale: if your nice to his ass 24/7 there is no fear! And without fear there is NO POWER!! and power, ladies.......... is everything. But there is most definately a balance, as much as it would be fun to just ruin his whole life on a daily basis for no reason (lol, i have to laugh cos ive done this several times, J4F*) there must be a balance if you actually want to keep the realtionship going.

Alright so here are the steps: remember this is not a reciepe for making cookies: you have to play with it and incorporate the things that you know your man likes/dislikes and loathes! ;o) The key to this whole thing is NOT to get too serious; if ur laying down the law dn't be smirkin n shit, but at the same time dn't let the 'heated discussion' make u depressed and shit - it's all part of a game - be a player n wen ur done, just chill, work is over; no need to stress!

Alright so first of all in the early stages of the relationship you av to be his best friend. Be there speak to him as much as he needs you to but please (for the sake of the female species) DO NOT SMOTHER his ass! He needs space and the last thing anyone likes is a bitch that is constantly under your feet. Note: it is not cool to call him 8 times a day if you've only known him a week and it is not cool to turn up at his yard at midnight sayin u want a hug, if ur ass was not invited!!! (if u've done this ur mad and u need to allow this behaviour - its sooooo desperate! *cringe* and he will leave you for some with less 'issues')

Ok so now u have a gd rapport the plan of action kicks in. Like i said we must achieve a balance. A balance of nice and evil, kind and mean, hot and cold, happy and angry and finally the most important balance: fuck wid me and DO NOT fuck wid me!! The first time you have a little tiff (he forgets to call you for a day too long or arrives to the movies an hour too late) ASSERT yourself. Tell him he IS wrong, what he did WAS wrong and that you ain't got no time for his foolishness. Don't cuss him out too bad, cos its too early for that(dn't wori you can play satan later) Then after its all over leave do not call him, make sure u leave it for a few days then call him like nothing happened and carry on with the relationship...(if you've ever been in a realtionship you'll notice that guys do this ALL THE TIME and it works!!)

I've just realised this could be a book rather than a blog so im cut it down into the key things i think you must do to keep your man in line. If you want a book let me know ;o) lol anyhu....

1. If you argue (and this is only if you know he reallly likes you, or loves you - otherwise he'll just bounce!) make sure you always make him feel guilty about what he did. Relate what he did back to a bad childhood experience or maybe if he called you a name - say you were bullied in primary school or suttin, just so he feels the guilt. Then play the victim. Any guy with a heart can not continue acting up if he feels like a high school bully. (Unless he has no soul... in wihch case leave him before he fucks you up sooo bad u end up wid no soul! )

2. If he does something and it makes you cry - find the strength, after the tears n long chats wid ur gurlies and......... CUSS HIS RASS!!! i mean up and down, left and right, verbally assasinate his character. I've found that once a man is scared of your mouf he ain't gna keep givin u a reason to run it! In other words he will quickly pull his finger out and do the shit you tell him to do, cos he'd rather have to buy you a gift for valentines than listen to you complain for the next year about what he did not buy you for valentines!!

3. Make sure that when things are cool between you you treat him like a king! I no you didn't think you'd hear that from me but i learnt that being mean all the time is not the key to sucess. Your man needs to know that he's loved, needs to know that you got his back, that u'll give him a massage and cook him suttin to nyam ON DEMAND IF he treats you right. (yes, fellas ladies will give u d VIP treatment but u have to earn it from a real woman!)

It goes like this - he behaves you treat him like a king and he gets everything he wants, in the kitchen, the bedroom, or wherever else he wants it. But if his ass misbehaves, stops callin like he used to or even tries to raise his voice, or have some hoochie call his fone when ur wid him -----> he knows what time it is!! His ass is gna get cussed out for a gd 2/3 days and when he's tired, u run ur mouf, when he's hungry u gon run your mouth, n when he needs you - ur no where to be found!!

Sounds evil right? WRONG!! men, women, children have some things in common:
FEAR is power
Everyone can be conditioned into behaving a certain way
A good teacher can teach ANY lesson they want to.
Those who play the game..... win!!

These are the lessons and the key ways to just make sure that ur man doesn't forget that you are the boss of you! He does not own you, and you are not a commodity, he can't just buy you then neglect you and still think your gona stick around! He has to keep up the gd work and keep showin d love...... oh n he shud neva think that he runs your life! This is very important - your man is not the be all and end all. Yea you can rearrange plans for him sometimes, but don't let it be one of those: he says jump, you say how high things! That ish is not cute and after a while he WILL get bored and cheat or just leave you!

OK, finally you need to know that if your man is or might be a Chris Brown, beat-ur-ass-up-and-down-the-sidewalk-in-public kina brother - this will NOT work!!! (lol i have to laugh cos its obvious but some people overlook the obvious - *clears throat* rihanna)-political announcement: im sori that was mean domestic violence is a serious issue and it is never acceptable. OK moving on.....

Also if you man is a lot smarter than you, like always has an answer for everything you say (you no them smart mouf muvas) ........ do not let him talk his way around you. This is how you deal with it: it has to be on your terms and you have to know what the fuck your gna say(even if you have to write it down read it out over the phone then hang up so he'd can't give ur mind a gd hot wuk n fuck wid ur head!). I cannot stand a chick who's like 'babes i need to talk to you' then he looks at you ...... and u gt sweet FA to say! First of all your gna annoy him cos ur wasting his time and secondly, he might think your scared to say what you need to say - which may lead him to believe that your weak! please note: Weakness is NOT cute! (Oh yea guys i know this isn't really the kina blog u will support but if u can keep it real and tell the ladies that weak, is not cute!)

Anyways this is just an introduction try these steps and tips: in a sensible way!! and let me know what you think. It's worked for all ma friends (like to think i've healed and saved alot of relationships) if it works with you, let me know.

Cherie Amour
xcxcx

**Just 4 Fun